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All right I’m going to tell you something and you’re going to be jealous probably. And you might even hate me a little. But I hope you get over it because I am definitely on your side here. And that will become clear in time.
I’m just some guy. I’m one of the tribe. A magnificent bastard since the early days. So here is the thing that’s going to make you jealous: I’m living at the Wizard Academy right now for this writing project I’m doing. That’s fine. Whatever. Here’s the important part:
If I live at the Wizard Academy, ipso fatso, I live at the Crowded Barrel. I LIVE at the Crowded Barrel. My mailing address is…whatever the address of the Crowded Barrel is. I don’t know what that is, but I am going to find out. Since I live here now.
That’s plenty cool and enough to get excited about, but it’s not even the best part. A couple of days ago I was talking with Daniel and he casually floats the idea of me writing the intro to the Friday newsletters. You know, as long as I’m HERE and writing anyway….
Daniel is a buddy, so I said, “Sure, no problem. I got this. The Magnificent Bastard can relax. No more Friday newsletter deadlines for now!”
Oh, the look of relief on his face was priceless. He was so happy. And I let him sit in that happiness for a moment or two.
“Now, there are two things I will need if I’m going to do this for you.”
Daniel squinted at me just a little. He’s got a damn good poker face, but I caught a little squint there.
“Yeah?”
“First, my money is no good at the Fang and Feather.”
That squint turned into a smile. Free whiskey, that’s nothing.
“Done!”
“But hang on. I want them to say it. Every time I pull out my money to pay for a drink, the bartender says, ‘I’m sorry Gordon, your money is no good here.’”
See, I’ve always wanted to be one of those “Your money is no good here” guys. But usually those guys are war heroes or sports legends and shit like that. I’m just a regular guy.
“No problem. I’ll talk to the staff.”
“They’ll say it out loud?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. Second, nothing you or Rex read in my newsletter intro is actionable. This will be me talking to the tribe, and you can’t take action on anything you read.”
I held my breath. Daniel is a smart cookie. It’s hard to slip much past him. But he agreed.
He AGREED!
Do you understand what this means? I live at the Crowded Barrel and anything I do and write about is not actionable.
Oh, this is such a thing of beauty. There will be shenanigans. I will shenanig the shit out of this place. I’ll write about all of it to you, and they can’t do anything but say,
“I’m sorry Gordon, your money is no good here.”
~ A Magnificent Bastard
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